Performance Denial

A true story borrowed from a dating and relationship counselor. It goes something like this:

A young lady- Sally- calls into the counselors radio show, concerned about the level of commitment from her boyfriend and 'future' fiance. She tells the counselor their relationship is 'pretty good' but then begins to share some of the details about their problems and how the relationship is not looking like what she had assumed it would be. At this point Sally has become angry as she goes on to tell the counselor she is at her wits end because she has begged and pleaded for some kind of reconciliation, but to no avail. When the relationship coach asks whether she has considered it might be time to move on, she says she has, but is reluctant because she still has such strong 'feelings' for him.

The counselor answers her this way:

'Alright Sally. Let me feed back to you what you have just told me by playing a game. Let's pretend that you have asked me to set you up with one of my friends. I agree, think about all the possibilities and then a week later I call you, all excited about fixing you up with my buddy Scott.'

'When you ask me about Scott, I begin telling you that he rarely shows up on time but when and if he does, he'll brag to you about the accomplishment. He's not really into any of your friends, your family or your recreational pursuits and he can't stand staying in on Friday's for dinner and a movie with you. Friday night is boys night out and that's that.'

'In regards to your spiritual and religious beliefs, he will be really dedicated at first. But in reality, he thinks religion is just a big con job so you can forget about worshiping as a couple.'

'He will want you to cook meals for him, do his laundry and lend him money when he is short for poker night or boys night out. He will promise that there is great potential for something long term, once you come to your senses regarding your beliefs about waiting until marriage to have sex. To Scott, that will be the ultimate sacrifice proving your undying, true love for him and then everything else will fall into place.'

'So it's all set up Sally, can I give him your number?'

Sally's denial about the reality of the relationship, has just been uncovered by the counselor. No woman in her right mind would agree to dating Scott if she had that kind of information up front! Even though Sally is actually in that situation currently, she won't break it off because she believes some day it will get better or she is afraid of being alone or of what her friends and family will think.

When I heard this story it really impacted me because of the situations of denial I see with my potential clients and some of their employee performance. No real fit, real communication or agreement regarding specific expectations, organizing values or standards that define exceptional performance or an exceptional working relationship. And in some pretty good companies. But as the saying goes 'pretty good, seldom is.' Especially in this economy.

Most people have job descriptions and most companies hold meetings. When potential clients tell me about their frustration because of poor performance, I ask to see drafts of the performance expectations. The response is often: 'They were told how to do the job when they got here.' 'We have regular meetings.' 'We talk about this stuff all the time.' 'We have a comprehensive company orientation for new hires when they start.'

This is not communicating expectations, this is just chatter.

'How did the meeting or orientation go? ' followed by the response 'Great! We ordered pizza, toured the facility and everyone was really buying in!' is not communication either. It's a start and it can be positive but it is also just chatter that warms up the real communication.

Here is what I mean by real. Real communication is specific, tangible, sometimes verbal and often visual and includes only what matters regarding the work, such as the Key Performance Indicators and Standards of Performance. How much? By whom? For whom? By when? And to what standard?

It does not mean that you can't still have pizza and talk about your little Sophie's first tooth. These things can matter at the location of where you work and with the people with whom you work with, but you must make the distinction. They are very different things.

Here are some simple tips that will help you eliminate performance denial and build a stronger performance based relationship.

Employers:

• Visually map out specifically what, by whom by when and to what standard. 
• Make it clear you expect a lot but will also reward a lot. 
• Train, supervise, coach and monitor. Repeat daily, monthly, quarterly and annually. 
• Improve your hiring practices and always be on the look out for good talent. If you have a bad fit, help them become successful somewhere else.
  

Employees:

• Buy in or move on.
• Be grateful and proud that you are part of an organization that has high standards. Know that it's far better than the alternative: the company going broke and you having to look for work.
  
• Understand that this will benefit you for the rest of your career.
• If the situation is unbearable but you need the job, do your best to contribute until you find something better. And when you do-RUN!

Have a good week,

Kevin

PS. If you want to know if such a process will work, Clear Moves Inc. just helped a client identify $500,000 in potential new revenue, that would have otherwise been completely lost. If you think you might be missing these kinds of revenue opportunities at your company, call me on my direct line at 778.317.8064 and we can at least talk about the possibilities.